Whether your guy friend has only ever seen you as one of the guys or you just haven't broached the issue of dating, breaking out of the "friend zone" can be difficult once you have established a status quo within your relationship. The benefits of dating your platonic friend far outweigh the risks. By taking a chance, you stand to gain a boyfriend who gets your humor, who you enjoy hanging out with and who you already share a close bond with.
1. Assessing the Situation
Before attempting to pursue a relationship with your guy friend, take a look at his current relationship with you, other friends and, more importantly, other women. If your friend has numerous other platonic female friends, then your relationship with him may not be as special as you initially thought. On the other hand, if you are one of a handful of platonic female friends he has and you notice that you two spend a significant amount of time together, then you may have a chance of convincing him to look at your friendship as more than a strictly platonic relationship.
2. Identifying His Preferences
We all have preferences in partners and relationships. Look closely at the women your friend has shown interest in previously. While you may not be able to, or want to, emulate the style of these women completely, it can give you clues as to how to spruce up your image and increase your odds of him seeing you as potential dating material. If he tends to prefer girls in glasses, you might want to put away your contacts. If he goes for more athletic women, consider joining a gym or intramural sports team in your area to get his attention.
3. Spending Time Together
Spending time together alone can simulate the feeling of dating. Whether you are going to see a movie, grabbing a coffee or catching an open mic night, take advantage of every opportunity that you can to do things one on one with your guy friend. After several date-like outings, he might even broach the subject himself and ask you out on a date.
4. Talk to Him About Your Feelings
While it may seem like common sense, taking the time to express your feelings to your guy friend may be all that it takes to make him a boyfriend. Talk to him about how much fun you have together and how you enjoy your time with him. While there is a chance that he will not reciprocate your feelings, being open and honest with him will put all of the cards on the table and let you both address the relationship with a fresh outlook.
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Romantic Intent, Relationship Uncertainty, and Relationship Maintenance in Young Adults’ Cross-Sex Friendships
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Friends Forever: A Longitudinal Exploration of Intimacy in Same-Sex Friends and Platonic Pairs
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Motives to Remain Platonic, Equity, and the Use of Maintenance Strategies in Opposite-Sex Friendships
- Psychology Today: Avoiding the Friend Zone: Becoming a Girlfriend or Boyfriend
- Psychology Today: Can Men and Women be "Just Friends"?
- Creatas/Creatas/Getty Images