The power of positive thinking is not only limited to health, career and money -- it can also have a positive effect on your love life. Martin Seligman, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist, has been studying the effect of positive thinking for most of his career, and he has found that positive thinking not only has a psychological impact, but it affects our expectations, which in turn affects our realities. By thinking positively and removing doubt and negativity, you can attract true love.
1. Look Into Past Relationships
In order to create a positive relationship in the future, we must examine our past relationships, says Michael J. Losier, trainer and neuro-linguistic programming practitioner and author of “Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t." Identify what worked and what didn't work in your past relationships. This will help you figure out exactly what you are looking for in a potential mate.
2. Use Positive Words
Now that you know what you want in a partner, create a list of your partner’s desired qualities -- using positive words. Focus solely on the positive things you want, excluding any negatives. For example, if you tell yourself that you don’t want to date a deadbeat dad, your conscious and unconscious mind still focuses on the deadbeat dad, which is what you may end up attracting. Turn these negative statements into positive ones. Instead, write and say, “I want to meet and fall in love with a family man.”
3. Project Your Positive Qualities
It’s important to not only focus on positive qualities you want in a potential mate, but to also focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Concentrate on your positive qualities and project them, writes Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and intuition expert, in her Psychology Today blog. Instead of focusing on the things that make you insecure, focus on the positive things that you like about yourself. This will help you attract someone who is looking for the positive qualities that you possess.
4. Remove Doubt
In order to meet your desired partner, you must get rid of any doubt. You can only allow something to happen when you admit to yourself that your desire is possible. Your doubts come from limiting beliefs, says Losier -- beliefs that justify your anticipation of a negative outcome. For example: “I want to marry a successful man, but I can’t because I’m not successful and don’t have a college degree." Counteract your limiting beliefs using allowing statements. Ask yourself if there are people in the world who defy this belief, and create your allowing statement: “There are many men who fall in love with women who come from different educational and socioeconomic backgrounds.” This will allow you to believe that your desired relationship is possible.
- Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t; Michael J. Losier
- Psychology Today: How to Attract Positive Relationships
- The New York Times: Research Affirms Power of Positive Thinking
- Christopher Robbins/Digital Vision/Getty Images