Six months into a relationship, it is natural to start analyzing its potential for long term success. Communication and compatibility may take over from chemistry, reveals psychotherapist Nicole McCance in her article, "The First Year: Stages in New Relationships." If you have decided this is not the right relationship for you, breaking up can be tough. It's not pleasant to hurt someone's feelings, particularly a guy you have grown to trust and care about. A little preparation and a lot of sensitivity will help to make the process easier for both of you.
1. Pick the Right Place
By considering how your boyfriend is likely to react to your news, you can help keep embarrassment and distress to a minimum. If you think he may become upset, visit him at his house in order to break the news in private, as he will be comfortable and secure in that environment, advises the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center in the TwoOfUs.org article, "Breaking Up With Kindness and Respect." If you suspect he may get angry, ask him to meet you in a neutral public place, such as a park. Avoid breaking up with him in front of your children, as this isn't a conversation they should witness.
2. Do It Face to Face
You may be nervous about breaking up with your boyfriend, but make sure you do it in person, recommends therapist John Kim in his article, "The Angry Therapist: How to Break Up With Someone," on the "MindBodyGreen" website. Breaking up by text, email, social media or during a phone call is disrespectful. Ignoring his calls and messages in the hope that he gets the message is rude and immature, and behavior more typical of a teenager than an adult mom. After dating for six months, he deserves more than that.
3. Get to the Point
Planning in advance what you intend to say to your boyfriend will help you get your point across clearly. Keep it simple and direct, advises social psychologist Petra Boynton in her article, "How to Break Up With Someone," published in "The Telegraph." Your boyfriend needs to know that your relationship is definitely over. If you avoid the truth or send mixed messages, he may think you are open to giving the relationship another shot. Tell him that, regrettably, you have come to the decision that the relationship is over, and state your reasons. Be kind and sensitive to his feelings.
4. Go Your Separate Ways
Your boyfriend may have questions about your decision to split up. Answer them as clearly and succinctly as possible, but make sure you don't say anything to give him hope of a reconciliation. Avoid all contact with him, to give you both the chance to move on. The breakup of a six-month relationship should be followed by at least six months of no contact, advises author Christine Hassler, in the article "How to Get Over a Break-Up!" on ChristineHassler.com.
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