Being each other’s best friend promotes honesty and transparency.

How to Bring Chemistry to Your Marriage

by Alysia D. Roehrig

Attraction and sexual excitement are vital ingredients in a successful marriage. However, after a couple of years in marriage, things can get dull. You can start feeling like you are losing the chemistry in your marriage. That is normal, and you may be exploring ways to spice things up between you and your man, according to Dr. Scott Haltzman of Hitched Magazine.

Diagnose the Problem

Examine your lifestyles and make sure that it is not too crowded. Check whether your schedules and work patterns eat into the time available for intimacy, and hinder your ability to have a heart-to-heart connection with your partner. Intimacy in your relationship should be a pattern and is something that you need to nurture. Also, stress can affect your concentration and focus on each other and cause distractions during intimate moments. Talk about your relationship and be open about any issues, concerns or problems you may have.

Be Creative

Allow your imagination to take flight and come up with new ideas and activities for you and your man. For example, if you have a date night every week, try a let-down-your-hair activity rather than the regular dinner at your favorite restaurant. Join a dance class, go for a late-night movie or role-play with your husband, pretending to meet someone new in a restaurant and taking him home with you on your first date.

Spend Time Together

Make sure that technology such as phones, work and children are not taking over your time together as wife and husband. Hire a baby sitter over the weekends and plan to have kids early to bed during weekdays. By spending more time together, you can rekindle your spark and learn to enjoy your marriage, according to Dr. Laura Berman of Everyday Health. Also, intimate acts such as kissing and holding hands produce oxytocin, a brain chemical that produces feelings of attachment and trust.

Practice Openness and Honesty

Share with your husband when unhappy or dissatisfied in any aspect of your marriage, including your sex life. Keeping your relationship free of emotional clutter preserves intimacy and passion. If you like to be touched or kissed in a certain way, let your husband know and take time to know and do what he likes too. Dr. Phil advises you to voice your intimate needs and give yourself permission to get what you want by asking for it.

About the Author

Alysia Roehrig began writing in 1997. Her work has been published in various online publications. She is a teacher and educator with experience teaching first grade and special education. Roehrig holds a Ph.D and an Master of Arts in psychology from University of Notre Dame.

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