Make each other a priority to avoid marital fighting.

How Can We Stop Fighting to Save Our Marriage?

by Shannon Philpott

It’s typical to get annoyed with your spouse for slacking on household duties, forgetting important anniversaries or special events or refraining from showing affection. Even though conflicts and disagreements within a marriage are bound to occur, when arguments put your marriage in jeopardy, it’s time to find the underlying cause of the problem to heal and revive the love you once felt for each other. With open communication and a shift in priorities, it’s possible to begin compromising instead of fighting with your spouse.

1. Delegate Duties

One of the most frustrating aspects of living with another person is the uneven delegation of duties. If you and your husband bicker about responsibilities, it’s time to work out a schedule and set expectations, according to relationship expert Rachel Sussman. Arrange a time to meet with your spouse to make a list of all the household chores and errands. Sussman suggests examining each chore and assigning them based on strengths, availability and preferences. When you and your spouse can respectfully agree on the divided duties, it should reduce the need to remind, nag or pester each other about responsibilities, which ultimately could result in an unnecessary disagreement.

2. Work Out a Budget

It’s no secret that finances can spur heated discussions between couples. If money management is fueling fighting in your household, experts at Charisma Magazine recommend working out a budget together. Together, take a look at expenses monthly and set expectations for spending to avoid surprises that can lead to an argument. Unfortunately, disagreements about finances can bring about negative emotions and cause couples to play the blame game. With clear guidelines, set, you can avoid these emotional encounters.

3. Shift Priorities

If the fighting in your marriage is a daily occurrence, it’s likely that resentment and frustration is fueling your feuds. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your marriage and your spouse, vow to make each other a priority, recommends Maud Purcell, family therapist at PsychCentral.com. Schedule time each day to have light conversations and get to know each other a little better. Even though it’s important to tackle controversial topics, reserve your daily one-on-one time for the two of you to share more about yourselves, including thoughts, feelings and goals. Think of these interactions as "dates" to renew your marriage and agree to stop any disagreements or discussions that turn hostile.

4. Seek Professional Help

Constant fighting will not only wreak havoc on your marriage, it will also affect your emotional and physical health. If you and your spouse are unable to resolve your differences respectfully, seek the help of a family therapist or marriage counselor. According to Mark Dombeck, clinical psychologist and former director of MentalHelp.net, marriage counselors can provide a safe environment for couples to discuss their differences, resolve conflict and recognize breakdowns in communication.

About the Author

Shannon Philpott has been a writer since 1999. She has experience as a newspaper reporter, magazine writer and online copywriter. Philpott has published articles in St. Louis metro newspapers, "Woman's World" magazine, "CollegeBound Teen" magazine and on e-commerce websites, and also teaches college journalism and English. She holds a Master of Arts in English from Southern Illinois University.

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