You see him practically every day. You like his humor, his laugh, his smile. You like the way he interacts with the instructor and the other students in the class. OK, and the fact that he’s drop dead gorgeous doesn’t hurt. He’s got your attention. Now you want to get his.
Before you make your move, you have to believe you can. Even if you are a rock-star student and stellar athlete, you might falter when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. It’s perfectly OK to be nervous, but you have to push those feelings aside if you want get to know that cute guy in class. The Mayo Clinic staff offers some solid guidelines on how to boost your self-esteem. First, identify triggers that might get you down on yourself and talk yourself through your doubts. Then, counter those doubts with a reality check. With a little bit of self-confidence, the dialogue you should be having with yourself should sound something like this: You’re awesome and he’d be lucky to get to know you.
Get to know him from afar first. If he’s already your Facebook friend, learning some basics about him is pretty easy. But even if you only see him in class, you can get the details without ever speaking a word. What kinds of opinions has he expressed? Who does he hang with? What are his outside interests? What kind of music does he listen to? There’s no need to do any full-fledge creeping on him. Just pay attention. When you find common ground, you have also found your opening line.
Break the Ice
Psychologist Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W, Ph.D., also known as "The Attraction Doctor," suggests breaking the ice by asking a favor or question. You can ask for the homework assignment or to borrow a pen. Maybe he’s a math wiz or seems to have a handy simile for every English assignment. Ask him for some help or advice. Or if you know he’s on the football team, you might ask who scored the winning goal. The point is to break the ice with something small and hope for a small flood of information.
Voice an Opinion
Sure you want to get to know him. But you also want to spark a reciprocal interest. Offer your opinion in a class discussion. It doesn’t have to agree with his, but it might help and it could let him see you as the intelligent, interesting person you are. If he knows a thing or two about history and you can shed light on a favored historical figure, you may grab his attention. If he’s rock-and-roll fan and you scored tickets to Aerosmith, feel free to drop Steve Tyler’s name. And maybe even invite him to "walk this way" along with you.