It's three o'clock in the morning after your latest date with your confirmed bachelor beau, and you're wondering if the relationship will ever go anywhere. Roll over and go to sleep, because it's a waste of time to fret over whether you'll be the one to drag him to the altar. Your best bet is to enjoy yourself while continuing to keep your options open.
1. Maintain the Proper Perspective
Keep in mind that all relationships are temporary, advises behavioral expert Ali Benazir on his website, "The Tao of Dating," noting that even long-term marriages end in divorce or death. With this in mind, have a good time dating your bachelor. Perhaps the relationship will end in marriage, perhaps it will not. Since you can't predict the future, just enjoy each moment. You'll get more out of the relationship and be a better date to boot. That said, it's probably best if you don't introduce your free wheeling friend to your kids at this point, as you simply can't bet on him being in your life for the long run.
2. Enjoy Your Friends
Don't give up your entire social life to spend all of your time with your bachelor guy. If he's been a bachelor for a long time, it's probably safe to say that he is a bit commitment-shy, so giving him his space is probably the best thing you can do to keep the relationship going. Knowing he has competition for your time is likely to increase his attachment to you while decreasing your own neediness, says Benazir. Enjoying the occasional spa day with your besties will not only be good for your skin, but your relationship as well.
3. Be Spontaneous
A bachelor is a guy who likes to keep his options open. Such a person is unlikely to enjoy routine Saturday night dates at "our favorite restaurant." While getting a sitter at the last minute and heading to Cancun for the weekend might be impossible, you can still keep things exciting by suggesting new things to do. For example, you might surprise him by going rock climbing one weekend or getting tickets to an obscure jazz band instead of the movies. Keep from being predictable and cultivate spontaneity instead, and you'll intrigue even the part of him that is terrified of matrimony.
4. Lower Your Expectations
Give yourself a reality check to keep yourself from getting hurt. A perpetual bachelor rarely changes, says psychologist and author Tracy Cabot. When you realize he's unlikely to embrace the idea of you redecorating his living room and turning his office into a playroom, it will be easier for you to make an educated decision about your relationship. If you're willing to live for the moment, by all means continue, but if your goal is marriage, you might do better to move on to a more suitable candidate.
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