If you want to feel safe, pursued and won, an alpha male might be your dating mate.

Dating a Dominant Alpha Male

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

Many strong women desire a strong alpha male as their romantic interest or partner, according to “Huffington Post” blogger, Emma Johnson. An alpha male is a high-achieving, driven, aggressive man who isn’t afraid to tackle challenges, explain Kate Lederman, Ph.D. and Eddie Grandson, M.D., in “The Alpha Male Syndrome” for the Worth Ethic Corporation. When dating an alpha male, prepare for certain challenges.

1. Driven to Succeed

An alpha male has an internal drive to succeed that could have you feeling neglected as he spend additional hours at work, according to dating coach and expert Evan Marc Katz in “Is There Any Point in Dating an Alpha Male?” on his website. The drive to succeed keeps him focused on the prize, which could be you initially. Once you attach to him, he is on to the next task and he will put you on a back burner, unless he is also driven to make you a priority in his life, writes Katz. One way to do that is don’t let him get too comfortable in his assurance that he has caught you. Maintain various interests and be honest when you already have commitments that preclude accepting a date.

2. Leadership

Alpha males have a need to lead, according to Katz in his article, “If You Want to Date a Confident Leader, You Have to Let Him Lead.” Don’t send mixed messages that you want him to make the major decisions and then challenge every decision he makes. If you have a preference about where or what you want to eat, pose that up front and then let him decide what to do. You could say, “I have a hunger for shrimp tonight. Could you choose somewhere I can order that?” He still is leading, but you have offered input about the evening’s destination.

3. Entitlement

Many alpha men express a sense of entitlement, according to Ludeman and Erlandson, which can justify running over the needs and desires of a co-worker, employer or romantic interest. Katz agrees and says that it can lead an alpha male to cheat on a partner as he pursues his desires first if he doesn’t have a strong moral code that precludes cheating. Maybe, there’s nothing you can do to prevent him from chasing other women, but if you have an open relationship that allows you to do the same or to pursue others together, you might both be happy. If you need him to make a strong commitment to you and your family, choose an alpha male with high morals.

4. Aggressive

Some alpha males exhibit aggressive behaviors toward their romantic interest, according to Nigel Barber, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist writing the article, “Alpha Males and Sexual Abuse of Women” in “Psychology Today.” If you enjoy a sexually aggressive male, an alpha male might be exactly what you want. If not, establish strong boundaries to stay safe, such as making it clear that sex should always be consensual and establish what activities you consider appropriate.

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

Photo Credits

  • Jupiterimages/Pixland/Getty Images