Use humor to help him relax.

Dating a High Maintenance Man

by C. Giles

Women have traditionally been viewed as high-maintenance in a relationship, but times appear to be changing. According to a 2013 study of 2,000 British women commissioned by the website Quidco.com, one in five considered their partner to be high-maintenance, reports MailOnline. You already have children to deal with, so you may not relish the prospect of a relationship with a high-maintenance man. Identifying his positive qualities and working on your communication skills will give this fledgling relationship a better chance of success.

1. What to Expect

The most common traits of a high-maintenance man are sulking when he doesn't get his way, insisting on an immediate response to electronic communication, such as emails and text messages, and needing to be reassured of his partner's love, reveals MailOnline. This may make dating emotionally draining. Try to focus on his positive traits and consider what may be at the root of his high-maintenance tendencies, such as low self-esteem or a fear of being hurt.

2. It's Not All Bad...

A man may be high-maintenance, not in relation to his emotional needs, but in respect to his appearance and personal grooming. This may actually be a positive trait, suggests Jonas Bell Pasht in the article, "In Defense of the High Maintenance Man," for Huffington Post. Taking pride in how he dresses, taking time to get ready for a special occasion and wanting to impress people with his style should all be seen as signs of respect for others.

3. How to Cope

If the high-maintenance man wants to take your relationship to the next level, he may need to relax his demands. A healthy, secure partnership requires give and take, says the HelpGuide.org article "Relationship Help." Nobody can expect to get everything they want. However, he won't know what you need if you don't tell him. Establish boundaries and make it clear what you will and won't put up with. Be reasonable, and remember that you are not perfect, either. For example, you may overlook the fact that he spends two hours getting ready before a night out, but ask him to restrict his texts to a certain number, depending on what you feel is reasonable.

4. Minimize Tension

Any tension caused by a man's high-maintenance ways should be addressed quickly, before it grows into a deeper issue. Healthy resolution of conflict requires effective communication, advises HelpGuide.org. If an aspect of the man's behavior is bothering you, let him know. Talk to him respectfully, without attacking him or bringing up old arguments. Use "I" statements to express your feelings to avoid making him feel under attack. For example, you may say something like, "I feel frustrated when you give me the silent treatment. Could we work out a more productive way to deal with problems?"

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

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