When he's gone, you will deal with loneliness.

How to Deal With Your Boyfriend Being Away on Base

by Genevieve Van Wyden

You are dating a member of the military. It doesn’t matter whether he is in the Army, Marines, Air Force or Navy -- he will be away and you are going to miss him. It is often said that being in the military isn’t what someone does -- instead, it is who he is. This might be true for your boyfriend. While he is gone, you need to know how to cope with loneliness and missing him.

Understand Your Role in His Life

Making the decision to date someone in the military is not a decision to make on the fly. He will have to go into the field for training missions. He will have to deploy overseas, sometimes for training and other times, because his unit is needed in a war zone. He made this commitment when he signed his enlistment paperwork, according to the Married to the Army website. He obviously cannot go to his commander and tell him, “My girlfriend is going to miss me too much, so I can’t go.” If he bailed out because of your relationship, he would be considered AWOL, absent without leave, a criminal offense in the military.

Send Him Small Gifts

Your boyfriend might be stationed in another state, making it hard for you to see each other. Let him know you have not forgotten him. Make up small care packages filled with items he might need or enjoy, such as books, CDs, personal-hygiene products, non-perishable snacks and DVDs, suggests the Singing Through the Rain website. Caveat: If he is stationed in a country with strict religious rules, skip over the soft-porn movies and books. Choose something else to send, instead.

Connect With Support Groups

Even though you are not married yet, you should seek out and join support groups for spouses and significant others. Other girlfriends and spouses are going through the same things you are experiencing. Being able to talk about your feelings, fears and thoughts will help you get through those difficult times, according to the Military SOS website. When you have questions, someone will be able to answer them for you.

Communicate As Often As You Can

You won’t be able to communicate every day, but do commit to communicating with your boyfriend as often as his mission allows. Send him letters, make phone calls, connect on Skype and send emails. Frequent communication makes your long-distance relationship stronger, according to the Online Dating Magazine. When you are talking to him, tell him what you are feeling. By doing so, he will feel reassured that you are more strongly committed to your dating relationship.

About the Author

Genevieve Van Wyden began writing in 2007. She has written for “Tu Revista Latina” and owns three blogs. She has worked as a CPS social worker, gaining experience in the mental-health system. Van Wyden earned her Bachelor of Arts in journalism from New Mexico State University in 2006.

Photo Credits

  • Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images