Dads want to give their daughters the world.

How to Deal With Dads Who Spoil Their Daughters

by Heather Topham Wood

Daddies love their little girls. Your daughter’s father may wish to give her everything her little heart desires. Although his intentions may be good, this may be a problem as far as your relationship with your daughter. You’ll resent always having to be the disciplinarian and your daughter may run to her father every time you say no. Call out her father on his spoiling ways, without causing a major conflict.

1 Arrange a heart-to-heart talk with the father. You should be alone and not accuse him of spoiling his daughter in front of her. This will only create discord among the family members. According to Dr. Gordon Harold, a researcher at Cardiff University and featured on "Good Morning America," fighting in front of your children could cause emotional damage and the child may become withdrawn or demonstrate aggresive behavior.

2 Develop a co-parenting plan. Discuss your perspective and let him present his. He may have reasons behind the spoiling and his intentions probably came from a good place. For instance, if he works long hours, he may feel guilty and feel that he must spoil his daughter whenever he can spend time with her.

3 Give examples. Talk about your concerns when it comes to spoiling his daughter. For instance, you may want to tell him that his daughter may never learn how to be financially responsible if he buys her everything she wants. Tell your husband, "Last month, she wanted a new doll. Then last week, she wanted new hair clips. Yesterday, she wanted a new dress and new tights. She doesn't actually need any of these items, because she already has enough.''

4 Switch roles. Ask the dad to switch places with you for the day. Let him be the tough one while you’re the more lenient one. This could help open his eyes and curb his tendency to spoil his daughter. When he refuses to give her the material things she demands, he'll have to deal with the fallout when she has a tantrum.

5 Suggest non-material ways for the father to spoil his daughter. Instead of the dad buying gifts, request that he does something else nice to bond with his little one. It may include a father and daughter day out at the park or the movies. Other examples include a picnic lunch or an outing to the beach. She'll enjoy the time they spend one on one together and not be so focused on what he should be buying her.

Tip

  • Things can get complicated if your ex is spoiling your daughter. He may be using the tactic as a way to deal with the separation from you and the child. In this case, it’s best not to meddle. If he wants to spoil his daughter during their time together, you may just have to mind your own business.

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