Couples separate for many reasons. Infidelity, personality conflicts and breakdowns in communication all contribute to marriage problems. If challenges have strained your marriage and you want to revive or renew your relationship with your husband, open communication, offer acceptance and a boost to your own confidence can help draw your mate back to you.
1. Try Marriage Counseling
When breakdowns in a marriage union occur, couples sometimes need help from the professionals. Propose marriage counseling to your husband, ultimately showing that you value the relationship and want to move forward with him by your side. According to Mark Dombeck, clinical psychologist and former director of MentalHelp.net, marriage therapists help couples work through differences, conflicts and feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger. Although counseling can be taxing on both of you, it may help you to understand each other better and rediscover the love you felt at the start of your relationship.
2. Connect Gradually
When couples separate or distance themselves from each other, it is likely that many small disagreements have blossomed into a tangled web that resembles a miserable trap. Begin tackling some of the smaller disagreements one at a time, recommends Jack Ito, clinical psychologist and author of “Connecting Through Yes.” For example, if your husband is contemplating divorce, focus on some of his needs that are not being met versus discussing the end of your marriage. Show a genuine concern for his happiness and avoid desperate pleas or empty promises to draw him back to you, suggests Ito.
3. Have Realistic Expectations
Although couples reunite instantly in romantic films and movies, reality is much different. Have realistic expectations about your marriage and a future with your husband. For example, if your husband is bitter or angry with you, those feelings will not instantly disappear. Accept that you both have valid feelings and it may take some time to iron out your differences. Understand, too, that a reunion may be bittersweet. Those annoying habits you both possess still exist and you have to determine whether you are both willing to accept each other as individuals. Choose to accept your husband as he is and express your willingness to do so, recommends Maud Purcell, family therapist at PsychCentral.com.
4. Find Happiness Within
While married, many women lose sight of who they really are. You may have let yourself go a little, scrambling to make time for pampering, primping and a little TLC. Boost your self-esteem and confidence by taking time to eat healthy, exercise and find your own identity. Taking care of yourself can help improve your mental health, says Purcell. By initiating change and acceptance within yourself, it is likely your husband will take notice. Remember that confidence is sexy and hard to resist.
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