Your best friend may be delighted that you have feelings for her brother.

How to Express Your Feelings to Your Best Friend's Brother

by C. Giles

Expressing your feelings for a guy can be difficult. If the guy in question is your best friend's brother, you may be even more worried about the consequences of telling him how you feel. You don't want to ruin your relationship with your best friend, and you may also have an existing friendship with her brother that you would like to protect. However, by handling the situation with honesty and sensitivity, you may be able to secure an outcome that all parties are happy with.

1. Work Out How You Feel

Perhaps you are attracted to your best friend's brother but don't necessarily see him as a long-term partner, or maybe you think you have fallen deeply in love with him. If you have a crush on him, it may subside in time. Give yourself plenty of time to analyze your feelings and work out if expressing them is the right thing to do. Pay attention to how he makes you feel when you are around him. Thinking about him constantly, having physiological reactions to his presence -- such as butterflies in your belly, an increased heart rate or clammy palms -- and fantasizing about living happily ever after with him, may be indications that you are falling in love, neuroscientist Lucy Brown says in the article "Five Signs You're in Love" for "Your Tango."

2. Be Honest With Your Friend

The best friendships are based on mutual honesty, respect and trust, advises psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith in the article "10 Ways to Make and Be a Great Friend," for "Psychology Today." Approach your best friend before you speak to her brother. She may be the best person to advise you how to express your feelings. Perhaps she knows that he is interested in another woman and will suggest you hold off for the time being. Maybe she has picked up on signs that he also has feelings for you. Tell your best friend that you respect her opinion and don't want to cause embarrassment or act inappropriately. Hopefully, she will appreciate your honesty and be supportive.

3. Be Mentally Prepared

Prepare yourself for your revelation to be met with embarrassment or surprise. If you don't know how your best friend's brother feels about you, consider how you will handle a negative reaction from him. Humor is often highly effective in relieving a tense situation. Deciding how you are going to handle different reactions will help you begin the conversation with confidence. For example, if he does become embarrassed or doesn't say anything, you could try to make a joke of the situation by saying something like, "Wow, I can't believe I just told you that! I must be crazy, right?"

4. Spill the Beans

Arrange to meet with your best friend's brother to tell him how you feel. Keep it lighthearted. Maintain eye contact and get straight to the point in order to come across as calm and confident. You may say something like, "I love spending time with you. I was hoping you'd like to go on a date this weekend?" Expressing your feelings with warmth is likely to be met with a positive reaction, says human development specialist D. Wayne Matthews in the article "Expressing Feelings" for the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. Remain upbeat, smile and don't press him for a response if one isn't forthcoming. He may need some time to process what you have told him.

About the Author

C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."

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