When you feel that your marriage is crumbling, it’s difficult to gather the emotional and physical strength to fight for the one you love. However, if you’re invested in your relationship and want to convince your husband to try again instead of walking away, open and honest communication about your feelings and devotion to the union is a strong start. With the help of marital counselors, supportive friends and family and a commitment to improving your relationship, you and your husband may be able to work through your marital problems and salvage the partnership.
1. See a Marriage Counselor
It can be emotionally draining to discuss serious issues within your marriage. In fact, partners in many couples have difficulty listening to each other, which leads to unnecessary arguments. If conversations are tense between the two of you, consider scheduling a session with a marriage counselor. Therapists can help couples improve their communication as they work through feelings of bitterness, resentment and anger, according Mark Dombeck, clinical psychologist and former director of MentalHelp.net.
2. Take Baby Steps
When tensions are high and your husband is on the verge of walking away, it’s not the ideal time to badger or beg him. By this time, the marital problems may leave him feeling trapped, lonely and angry. Suggest tackling some of the small issues that exist within your marriage, one at a time, says Jack Ito, clinical psychologist and author of “Connecting Through Yes.” Instead of jumping into a discussion about separation or divorce, have a conversation about the needs you both have and how to satisfy each other within the marriage. Once you show concern for his happiness, it is likely your husband will see that with small steps, it is possible to repair and rebuild the relationship.
3. Be Patient
Patience is not an easy trait to master, especially when it feels as if your marriage is falling apart. However, giving your husband time to process his feelings can discourage him from walking away. If he feels bitter or angry, you can’t expect those feelings to instantly disappear. Both of you are experiencing a variety of valid emotions. Time to accept the feelings, accept each other and process your own wants and needs can be healthy. Let him know that you are committed to the relationship and that you respect him by giving him time and space. Ultimately, expressing that you choose to accept your husband as he is will help him see your commitment to the marriage, says Maud Purcell, LCSW, CEAP, writing for Psych Central.
4. Embrace Yourself
Convincing your husband to stay doesn’t have to involve only taking care of his needs. As you struggle with emotions, it’s important to take care of your own physical and mental health. Eat well, rest, exercise and pamper yourself to boost your confidence and self-esteem. When you take care of your physical health, it directly affects your mental health, says Purcell. Embrace that you are a strong woman and focus on your positive personality traits. Your actions and focus on your own well-being will likely cause your husband to notice. In fact, confidence is an attractive trait and the one key element that may convince your husband to give the marriage another try.
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