Feeling as if you're married to the man of your dreams has a lot to do with your focus. If you concentrate on how he never washes his own dishes and always uses your favorite coffee cup, he'll certainly come up short. But if you focus on other qualities, such as your friendship and shared dreams, you'll find that you may, in fact, have married your very own Prince Charming.
1. You Accept His Imperfections
When you closed your eyes and visualized the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, chances are you weren't thinking about a beer belly and a tendency to forget to put the toilet seat down. Let go of the fantasy that you'll ever find someone who is perfect in areas in which your husband is lacking, advises author Lori Gottlieba in the "Redbook" article, "Don't Even Think About Divorcing Until..." Accepting your guy's humanity is key to feeling as though your dream has been fulfilled.
2. Your Dream is Realistic
If you dreamed of marrying a devastatingly handsome man who has millions stashed away in an offshore account who also loves puppies and enjoys spending evenings at home, you were engaging in a fantasy. Since people don't measure up to other people's fantasies, the real question to ask is, "Did I marry the man who met my most important criteria?" If you've married a man who'll accompany you to the pound for a new puppy, watch the occasional chick flick with you and isn't hard on the eyes, you're doing very well. After all, there's a difference between dreams and unrealistic fantasies.
3. He's Your Friend
Think about it. It's better to be married to a friend who makes a good living selling insurance than a debonair ladies man who will keep you guessing why there is an unexplained charge for flowers on his credit card bill. A friendship is what you really want in a marriage, states human development professor Karl Pillemer, Ph.D. in the "Huffington Post" article, "Secrets to a Happy Marriage (From the Real Experts)." If your spouse is the grown up version of the guy you liked to hang out in elementary school, chances are he's your dream man.
4. You're Happy
If you've married your dream guy, your relationship is likely a happy one, unless your dream was a nightmare. Characteristics of a happy marriage include having fun together and being able to share vulnerabilities with one another, says psychologist Randi Gunther, Ph.D., in the "Psychology Today" article, "Is Your Relationship Thriving or Just Surviving?" Also, with a true dream guy, your dreams will continue -- together, notes Gunther. Ask your husband what's on his mind to explore even more possibilities of a fulfilling and exciting life together.
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