Flirting might be fun but costly in the long run.

How to Know if a Married Man Hides His Feeling for You

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

Attractive men are all around you, including at work, in social groups, at religious activities and in classroom settings. You never know whose eye you might catch or what his matrimonial status is. It pays to notice early if a married man is attracted to you so you can dissuade him before his attention complicates your life.

1. Body Language

A man’s body language can tell you if he is attracted to you, notes Vanessa Van Edwards in the article “The Body Language of Attraction” for the Huffington Post. Look for open poses, such as arms to the side of his body, leaving his core exposed, and an open-legged stance. His feet are pointed in your direction, not toward the nearest exit. He looks at you as he stands upright with square shoulders, feet planted wider than his shoulders and his hands in view. In a seated position, he may lean back in his chair with his hands behind his head and his elbows pointed out, reports biological anthropologist Helen E. Fisher in “The Biology of Attraction" for Psychology Today. Look for a ring or a tan line where his ring goes on his left ring finger.

2. Flirting Clues

A married man might flirt to get your attention. He might swagger as he walks and leans in toward you to show his interest, reports Van Edwards. Mirroring your moves is common, picking up his glass when you pick up yours or lifting his left hand when you lift your right. When he has your attention, he may gaze eagerly into your eyes with a flushed complexion and quickened pulse. He smiles readily at you, laughs at your jokes and preens, writes Fisher. He may offer to take you out to lunch or dinner.

3. His Perceptions

If you flirt back, innocently thinking this is all in fun, he may assume that you are taking him seriously, note professor of communication David Dryden Henningsen and colleagues in their study published in the “Journal of Business Communication." He might flirt to come on to you sexually or simply to boost his self-esteem. He is likely to use sex to connect, to provide a temporary high and to escape from his home life, advises psychiatrist Jerry R. Bruns in “Why Are So Many Married Men Living the Dual Life?” for Psychology Today.

4. Complications

If you get involved with a married man, the chances that he will leave his wife are extremely small, notes marriage and family therapist Rona B. Subotnik in “The Husband-Other Woman.” Fisher agrees and reports that an affair could end quickly or last for months. Meanwhile, it leaves you less time to seek an available man who could make a happy home with you and your child. If you notice a married man who seems interested in you, sidestep him and let him know that you aren’t looking for a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs.

Resources

  • Quiet Desperation: The Truth About Successful Men; Jan Halper, Ph.D.

Photo Credits

  • Andrea Chu/Digital Vision/Getty Images