We've been told that men are from Mars and women are from Venus when it comes to communication. Yet, are we really so different? In the article, “The Language of Love in Close Relationships,” Susan Krauss Washburn, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Massachussetts Amherst, reports on a study that explores the ways husbands and wives communicate their affections for each other. Her conclusion: We may not be as different as you think.
1. Helping Around the House
Although men and women express affection equally, men often prefer to show their love through actions rather than words, according to “18 Secrets Guys Wish You Knew” by Michael W. Smith, MD. He might express his love by fixing things around the house, mowing the lawn or helping with chores. He likes to do those things that make your world a better place. Recognize that his efforts outside the home to work hard and further his career are also an expression of love meant to make you happy.
2. Leisure Activities
Men express their love by sharing activities with their wives. Although men need their “guy time,” they also enjoy spending time with their significant other. They take pleasure engaging in mutual activities as a way to draw closer together, Washburn says. Your guy might want to take you out to dinner, invite you to participate in one of his hobbies or just stay home watching your favorite show together. A happy marriage, Washburn says, is much like a good bromance for husbands.
3. Sexual Intimacy
It comes as no surprise that men love sex; however, you'd be wrong if you thought it was only for selfish or casual reasons. Love and sexual intimacy are closely related for men, according to Washburn. They view sex as a very important act between two committed people. When a man loves a woman, he is more likely to initiate sex. Regardless of who initiates it, partners who are more in love have sex more often than do their counterparts.
4. I Love You
So, does that mean that your guy will never say those three magical words? Not necessarily. Washburn says that many people in a good relationship spontaneously tell each other how they feel. If you think you'd like to hear your guy say “I love you” more often, first recognize the many ways he shows you how he feels. Express appreciation, and then let him know that you would enjoy hearing those words every now and then as well.
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