Knowing when to pinpoint the moment you are ready to remarry after a divorce you must determine whether past marital issues still affect you and your potential spouse. Equally important is examining your current relationship to see if you and your partner are at a stage in which marriage will benefit you and your children. Additionally, consider openness and honesty within the relationship as signs that remarriage is in the near future.
1. Leave Your First Marriage Behind
Leaving your first marriage behind is often easier said than done. If you have children with your ex-husband, you may have to converse with him regularly regarding child-rearing matters, or your children may have hoped for a reconciliation between you and your ex. While this is expected, make sure you’re not still pining away, hoping for another chance. On the flip side, if your first marriage was particularly bad, make sure you’re not bringing those negative feelings into a potential second marriage. Evaluate what went wrong with your first marriage, focus on making changes, and move forward.
2. Your Kids Give You the Okay
If your kids give you the green light, you may be ready to marry again. More importantly, if you witness positive interaction between your children and your partner, you are seeing a good indicator of what is to come. Be clear with your partner on the role you expect him to play in your children’s lives. It is also important that you both agree on how to handle situations regarding children. According to Kay Pasley, associate professor of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of North Carolina, “Those in remarriage and stepfamilies report being happier and more satisfied when couples hold similar perceptions and agree on what needs to be done regarding children” Knowing there’s satisfaction in working together for the children, may make it easier to decide when to marry again.
3. Be Honest
If you’re honest with your partner from the beginning, then marriage might be in the near future. Opening up and sharing the things that frighten you the most shows your vulnerability and your willingness to accept support. Being single means tackling tough problems on your own, while marrying requires you to tackle problems together. Being honest also includes being open to discuss issues with finances including debt and savings. In fact, prior to remarriage, you need to agree on how you will share and spend money.
4. You Can't Imagine Life Without Him
This may seem cliche, but it is important. If you miss seeing him when he’s not there, and have seen a positive improvement in all aspects of your life since he’s been around, you may be ready to make the relationship legal. If you have kids, much of your relationship may be devoted towards meeting their needs. However, you should look forward to time with your significant other and, as a result, make time to spend with each other regularly. While simply liking having someone around is not enough, it sure makes it easier to imagine waking up to his face each morning.
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