Romance helps a marriage last.

How to be More Romantic in a Marriage

by Tamara Runzel

The movies make romance and marriage look easy, but in reality, a romantic marriage takes work. Minister Jerold Aust points out that reality sets in soon after marriage as imperfections and shortcomings become annoying. Jobs, kids and family activities begin to take more of your time, leaving less time for your spouse and your marriage. For the sake of your marriage, though, it’s important to be romantic.

1. Appearance

It’s easy to get comfortable in marriage and let your appearance slide a bit, but take the time to make yourself more attractive. Your efforts might make your spouse become more attractive to you, points out Mitch Temple, writing for Focus on the Family. You can get more attractive together by heading to the gym together or by walking together. Other ideas include buying some new clothes, throwing out old, boring pajamas and trying a new hairstyle.

2. Acts of Kindness

Surprise your spouse and bring some romance back to the marriage by offering more acts of kindness. Bring your spouse coffee or breakfast in bed on a morning when you’re up first. Leave him a note or card where he can find it later. Send her a thoughtful text or email during the workday. Acts of kindness help your spouse feel loved and are likely to be returned.

3. Affection

Show affection through the day. Don’t let your better half leave for work without a kiss and a hug, and greet him with one when he returns home. Find time to touch your spouse affectionately throughout the day, not just when you want to be romantic. In an article for the Christian Broadcasting Network, Jim Burns recommends kissing passionately for at least 15 seconds every day. Burns points out that passionate kissing keeps the fire burning and is intimate and romantic. Jerold Aust suggests that affection might be the most important factor in bringing romance back to marriage.

4. Dating

Start dating again if it’s not still part of your routine. Dates don’t have to be expensive or extravagant. A simple dinner at home with soft music and candlelight can be as romantic as a weekend away at a bed and breakfast. A picnic dinner in the park or a snack at a coffee shop are also easy, simple dates. If you have a chance, plan a spontaneous romantic getaway or surprise lunch for your spouse to add some extra excitement.

5. Talking

Make time to talk and give each other your full attention when you do. Give your partner compliments and tell her how excited you are to see her each day. Aust writes that compliments “infuse” your marriage with romance. Jim Burns recommends finding 15 minutes at least five days a week to talk, saying it leads to emotional intimacy and connection. Tell your spouse “I love you” at least once a day.

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