A 2009 survey conducted by "Women's Day" magazine and "AOL Living" found that 57 percent of women regretted marrying their husbands. Nevertheless, 71 percent of women reported that they intended on staying with their husbands for the remainder of their lives. While your husband may have lost his previous Prince Charming veneer, take heart -- it is often still possible to work things out and banish regrets forever.
1. Change Your Thinking
Change your thinking. When you catch yourself ruminating over what could have been had you not been so hasty to tie the knot, redirect your thoughts. Your life becomes what you visualize, and if you fill your mind with continual thoughts of regret, you will indeed live a life of disappointment, as will your husband. Focus on the positive aspects of your marriage, and banish negative thoughts as they arise. One way to banish the habit of ruminating on the negative is to simply accept that things are the way they are for the present, says psychology professor Robert Leahy, Ph.D., in a December 2010 blog on "Huff Post Healthy Living."
2. Identify the Issues
If you regret marrying your spouse because his terrible budgeting has sunk you both into debt or because he does nothing besides watch TV and drink beer on the weekends, address the specific issues. Sit down and work out a budget, or schedule fun plans for the weekends instead of waiting for him to get up and suggest something. If you both are at an impasse, seek the help of a marriage counselor so you can get the issues that are causing the disappointment resolved.
3. Give it Time
It is not uncommon for doubtful thoughts to arise in any relationship, as they all have their rough spots. Surveys suggest that more than two-thirds of women have contemplated leaving their marriage at some point. Many, however, choose to stick it out. Keep in mind that many conflicts can be worked out and you may yet be taking long walks, hand in hand, during your sunset years. Give your marriage time and with work, the conflicts may fade into the background.
4. Listen to Your Inner Voice
Sometimes, feelings of regret serve a purpose. If you are sorry that you married your spouse because you are facing extreme challenges that you were not prepared for, you would be wise to heed your inner warning and reconsider your marriage. If those challenges include emotional or physical abuse, you should seek help right away. If you do decide to leave the relationship, take the time to work on your decision-making skills so that you don't repeat the mistake in subsequent relationships, advises psychologist Marie Hartwell-Walker in an August 2012 article on PsychCentral.com.
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