Not only has your man left you, but he has also left town, leaving you the extra challenge of geography in your bid to win him back. But don't despair: long-distance wooing can work if you know what you're doing. The key strategies to winning your man back when he is far away are to keep communicating openly, boost his self-esteem and get him feeling good about your future together.
1. Call Him
Pick up the phone to show your man you mean business. A 2007 study in the "Journal of Social Psychology" found that men were less likely to stay in a relationship if they suffered from low self-esteem or felt anxious, depressed or pessimistic about the future. The prognosis was even worse if men felt negative and their partner was far away. Calling to say you care will give him an ego boost and show that you are committed to getting him back.
2. Get Online
The difficulty of distance is that it can lead to distrust and relationships can suffer from a lack of intimacy. Research from La Salle University shows that Internet use is positively associated with trust in long‐distance relationships. Sending him a loving email or a photo of you looking flirty can bring you closer. Posting an affectionate message to him on social media is a public declaration of how you feel and shows both him and the rest of the world how devoted you are.
3. Visit Him
Research published in "Communication Research Reports" found that some face‐to‐face interaction in a long-distance romance is better for the relationship than none at all. However, remember that one of the reasons why people enjoy being apart is that the distance gives them independence, so don't just drop by or you'll look like a stalker. Instead, tell him how much you miss him and arrange a visit. Men tend to use face-to-face conversation to cement a relationship, so this is a vital step if you want to win him back.
4. Keep It Fresh
If you do manage to win your man back, try to keep the relationship fresh. A study conducted by Ohio State University showed that about a third of couples who move near each other after being in a long-distance relationship break up within three months of reuniting. People who break up tend to miss the things they liked in a long-distance romance, such as novelty, so make an effort to keep the relationship exciting and romantic.
- Journal of Social Psychology; In Times of Uncertainty: Predicting the Survival of Long-Distance Relationships; Jessica J. Cameron and Michael Ross
- Communication Research Reports; Patterns of Communication Channel Use in the Maintenance of Long‐distance Relationships; Marianne Dainton and Brooks Aylor
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships; When Long-distance Dating Partners Become Geographically Close; Laura Stafford et al.
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