Romantic gestures may help to win your lover back.

How to Win a Lover's Heart Back After Breaking Up

by C. Giles

Dating can be tough, particularly if you have children to consider. It can be tricky to juggle motherhood with a love life, but it's important to pour time into your personal life. If you are missing your ex-lover, you may be able to win him back. Take your time to think about what you're doing, and always consider the wellbeing of your children.

1. Love Yourself First

It's important to come to terms with the breakup and pay attention to all aspects of your health before you try to win your lover back. Breakups are tough, and you may have experienced a wide range of difficult emotions, such as anger, sadness, frustration and insecurity. Even so, have fun with your friends and spend quality time with your children. Adopt a healthy lifestyle -- eat nutritious food, drink lots of water and exercise. When you feel good about yourself, both physically and mentally, you will be in the right place to try to win back your ex-lover.

2. Reflect on the Past

However much you want to win back your lover, remember that you did break up, and there were reasons for that. Spending some time thinking about what your relationship was like, and what went wrong, can help you identify what needs to be done to make the relationship successful the next time around. For example, perhaps your ex wasn't comfortable with the fact that you have children and didn't want to make a serious commitment to you. In this case, you need to think carefully about whether you are happy to keep your children and your lover separate without putting pressure on him to become part of your family. Look at things from your lover's point of view, too. It may help to write down your thoughts in order to see things more clearly.

3. Know Where You Stand

You and your ex-lover should be equally committed to rebuilding your relationship for it to work out. Contact him and arrange a time to meet. Do it in a quiet, private place when your children aren't around. Be direct about how you feel and ask for the same honesty from him. Author and marital therapist Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., recommends avoiding blame and criticism and being clear about what you want from the relationship. If you treated him badly, apoogize for any hurt you have caused.

4. Think Romantic

Depending on the circumstances of the breakup, your lover may not be 100 percent sure about rekindling your romance. Give him some space to work out how he feels. Keep in touch with friendly texts and emails. Send him flowers, a love letter or a card with a romantic message to show how much you care. After a couple of weeks, arrange some child-free time and cook him his favorite meal. Set the scene with candles, champagne and chocolates. These romantic gestures will demonstrate how you feel about your lover and hopefully, you can win back his heart.

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