If you are worried your boyfriend may be afraid of marriage, you are probably wondering why he wouldn't want to spend the rest of his life with you, especially if he seems to truly enjoy your relationship. Fran Creffield, a columnist for eHarmony.com, says that for some people, dating is more complicated than just finding someone to connect with, and that some people do not even know they have a fear of commitment. There are a few tell-tale signs to look out for to determine if your boyfriend is afraid of marriage.
Analyze His History
If your boyfriend has been involved in several short relationships and has never had a long-term girlfriend, he may be afraid of marriage. Creffield reports that a typical behavior of a commitment phobe is being involved in a number of short, passionate and intense relationships that seem to go cold overnight. He may tell you that they were just not the right girls for him, but if he can never stay focused on one girl, you may be the next one who gets broken up with.
Take Note of His Priorities
A man who is afraid of marriage will not make you a priority in his life. Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, columnist, radio host and speaker, states on "Psychology Today" that the fear of being responsible for another human being is overwhelming to this kind of person. He will not have the ability to care for you because he is too busy focusing on keeping himself and his own world together.
Focus on His Flirting Habits
Make sure to take note if your boyfriend spends his time flirting with other girls around you. Rabbi Shmuley, an American Orthodox rabbi, author, TV host and public speaker, reports on "Oprah" that a commitment phobe will flirt with other women even in your presence, stating that it is harmless and does not mean anything. However, this flirtatiousness demonstrates the fact that he is not truly serious about your relationship, and is definitely not thinking about marriage.
Look at Other Areas of His Life
Your boyfriend's commitment, or lack thereof, to other things in his life may demonstrate his interest in marriage. Creffield reports that someone who is afraid of commitment will hate to be "tied down" even to small things. Anything that requires a promise and consistency will scare your boyfriend if he is the type to be afraid of marriage, so if you notice that he cannot commit to a particular activity, he likely cannot commit to you, either.