Loneliness and insecurity are often experienced simultaneously.

How to Cure Loneliness & Insecurity

by Jill Avery-Stoss

Loneliness and insecurity are often experienced simultaneously and tend to be paralleled with depression and anxiety. Most people struggle with these feelings at some point. If ignored, they can lead to any number of mental health issues. By acknowledging, processing and responding to them, you can learn to cope with greater ease. In time and with adequate care, feelings of loneliness and insecurity can decrease dramatically.

Origins of Loneliness and Insecurity

In order to minimize or eliminate loneliness and insecurity, you must investigate their potential origins. According to Daniel Perlman and Letitia Anne Peplau, in their chapter "Toward a Social Psychology Loneliness," appearing in the book "Personal Relationships in Disorder," loneliness is viewed as "a discrepancy between one's desired and achieved levels of social relations." Your relationships with family, friends, acquaintances and others in your life may not meet your expectations. Think about whether relationships are consistently troubled or if there are specific states in which bouts of loneliness and insecurity occur. Consider if you are, by nature, a melancholy person. This will give you insight as to which remedies might be most effective.

Love Yourself

Perlman and Peplau report that "The link between self-esteem and loneliness is reciprocal." Furthermore, Jason Ladock, writing for HealthGuidance.org, asserts that "The feeling of insecurity may be due to lack of self-confidence." Therefore, self-esteem work may ease both loneliness and insecurity. Utilizing affirmations, practicing assertive communication, honing your social skills can enhance your self-esteem, as will responding to your individual needs. Additionally, receiving adequate rest, exercise, nutrition and medical care is critical for any individual, especially one who is struggling with emotional issues related to loneliness and insecurity.

Build a Support Network

Seek out people in your life who are trustworthy and supportive and make regular plans with them. Breakfast every Sunday or bowling every Wednesday offers the opportunity for connection as well as regularity. Do volunteer work, join clubs of interest and possibly even a support group for those with similar concerns of insecurity and loneliness. An exceptional person to add to your system of support would be an experienced therapist or counselor, who can assist with your work by offering feedback and helping to monitor the status of your mental health.

Embrace Aloneness

Identify activities that you would prefer or even enjoy to do alone. Reading and gardening are possibilities. Since there are inevitably times where you will not be in the company of others, filling in the gaps by treating yourself to such activities may alleviate loneliness. Examining your spiritual beliefs is also something that can reduce insecurity and be done during alone time. Ladock claims, "You have to believe in something good. If you believe in your faith, try to extend it to your own belief on how to deal with things in your daily life. Insecurity usually gets into your mind if you don’t have enough belief in anything. So try to believe in yourself and in what you can do."

About the Author

Jill Avery-Stoss is a graduate of Penn State University and a writer and editor based in northeast Pennsylvania. Having spent more than a decade working with victims of sexual and domestic violence, she specializes in writing about women's issues, with emphasis on families and relationships.

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