Help your teen to stop the drama.

How to End Teen Girl Drama

by Erica Loop

While your teen girl's topsy turvy emotions may seem overly dramatic, the U.S. Office on Women's Health website notes that internal turmoil during adolescence is often the result of physical changes. Frayed emotions, hormonal changes, an increased reliance on social circles, budding romantic relationships and a new-found desire for independence can all play into your daughter's drama. Instead of worrying about the constant stream of minor conflicts that your teen seems to transform into major movie-style dramas, take a step forward and help her to end these scene-stealing situations.

Let your teen daughter know that you are there for her. Teens are beginning to exert a new sense of independence and rely more on their friends than their parents when it comes to finding support and making key choices, according to KidsHealth. While your teen may turn to her friends during highly drama-filled times, she still needs the love and advice of her parents.

Talk to your teen. Before you can begin to put a pin in her dramatic situations, you have to understand what the root causes are. Does your teen have emotions that are too powerful to deal with in a rational or acceptable way? Is there a social scenario going on that she doesn't know how to handle? Did another girl say or do something mean, such as starting a rumor or stealing her boyfriend? After discovering what the actual problem is, you can continue the discussion and focus on the drama-intensive issue.

Educate your teen on emotions, friendships and relationships. Instead of letting her piece together the puzzle that is adolescence, give her a helping hand and provide her with information and knowledge. For example, if another girl at school is causing drama through rumors about your teen's early physical development, discuss the facts about puberty and let her know that it's normal for different girls to go through body changes at different times.

Give your teen personal examples from your own life. Tell her about a similar situation and what you did to handle it. Don't omit negative stories. These can help her to learn a lesson from your mistakes, and avoid making the same ones. Letting your teen know that you have gone through similar drama will make her feel better about her own adolescent years.

Redirect your teen's attention. Think back to when your child was a toddler and you would move her attention from a tantrum-causing scenario to something less emotion-filled. Try the same tactic with your teen girl. If she's going on and on about how the boy that she likes talked to her BFF after school or texted a cheerleader, take her out for a girls' night to see a movie or have a bite to eat.


  • Don't minimize your teen's drama. While some of her more dramatic scenarios may seem trivial -- such as wearing the same dress as another girl to the school dance -- they are real problems to her. Avoid making her feel silly or stupid, and instead help her to rise above the situation.
  • Don't step in the middle of a dispute between your daughter and her friend unless it's absolutely necessary. Your teen will never learn how to solve her own problems if you are constantly swooping in to bail her out. Unless something serious is going on -- such as another teen is threatening her or she is experiencing dating violence -- let her take a crack at coming to a resolution with minimal assistance.

About the Author

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

Photo Credits

  • Creatas Images/Creatas/Getty Images