Making time for your relationship can get you out of the friend zone.

How to Fix a Relationship That Feels Like a Friendship

by Ashlea Campbell

Many couples find themselves in shock by the amount of work it takes to keep the spark alive in a relationship. In fact, many expect relationships to be effortless and always full of romance. After spending a good amount of time with your loved one, you may begin to feel as though the romance has dwindled and that you’re simply friends.

Effective Communication

Examine how well you’re communicating with your partner. If your relationship is categorized by arguing or yelling, this may impede your ability to connect. Similarly, if your conversations tend to focus on the mundane, this could cause your relationship to feel more platonic rather than romantic. Maybe you feel as though you know everything there is to know about this person and nothing can surprise you. Take the time to learn about each other. Ask questions about his passions and find out what really excites him. Make sure that you’re really listening to what he says.

Use Your Body

Non-verbal communication is just as effective as verbal communication in bringing a relationship out of the friend zone. Do not underestimate the power of touch. In fact, if your relationship feels like a friendship, maximize touch. Make sure to hug and kiss each day multiple times a day. When talking to your partner, touch his hand or back.

Make Time for Intimacy

Sometimes a relationship can feel like a friendship because there is simply not enough time for intimacy. Many people are hesitant to schedule sex because it seems forced or not spontaneous. Not scheduling time for intimacy is more damaging than having planned sex. Cutting out that time makes it difficult to connect on a physical level. Intimacy also includes just spending time alone together. Psychologists Robin S. Haight and Dan Abrahamson recommend taking a class together, going on a picnic or dancing to renew intimacy.

Seek Outside Help

Sometimes a professional can provide some guidance on renewing your relationship. A counselor can help you identify the road blocks that keep you from connecting on a romantic level. You and your partner may experience problems because of a longstanding issue or a recent issue. The two of you may not be able to identify what the problem is and how to solve it. Nevertheless, having a solid friendship with your partner is one step in the right direction, but sometimes a professional can help move things along the road to romance.

About the Author

Ashlea Campbell writes about families, relationships and health-related issues. In addition to writing professionally, she teaches writing courses at Collin College in Plano, Texas. She holds a Masters degree in English education from the University of Kansas.

Photo Credits

  • George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images