Spoiling a child can happen to almost any parent. It's possible that your parenting style is changing your little angel into something else altogether. You'll know if this happens because it will become painfully obvious in the way the child behaves. It's not a done deal, though -- you can reverse those spoiling mistakes so everyone will be happier.
Parents who overindulge youngsters might be trying to make up for a lack of attention with a bunch of expensive loot. Parents may also be trying to earn points or give a tot things to make up for a childhood that didn't have lots of material blessings, advises Susan Newman, Ph.D., with the Psychology Today website. As enjoyable as it might be to buy your kids stuff, keep the gift-giving controlled. Overindulging kids contributes to a lack of appreciation for what they have.
Catering and hovering on amped-up levels may create a spoiled kid who is overly dependent on you, states the WebMD website. Your over-protection could keep the youngster dependent, not maturing on schedule to gradually learn independence. This dependence may show up in a child who melts down into a puddle at the mere suggestion of separating from you to stay with a babysitter or a child who expects hand-holding and help all evening long with homework when she gets older.
If a parent doesn't set limits and boundaries for a child, the child may grow up without an adequate grasp of how boundaries work. This lack of experience and understanding of limits makes it challenging for the child to accept boundaries when he runs into them. A youngster may also think that he is above rules and they don't apply to him, states Ellen Abell, extension specialist with the Alabama Cooperative Extension System. Children with this attitude could have trouble making and keeping friends in school because they don’t "get" fairness and taking personal responsibility is a strange and unfamiliar concept to them.
Watch out -- a child who experiences overindulging or a lack of boundaries or who has over-dependence on parents may resort to temper tantrums when she doesn't receive the customary parental treatment. In small children, a temper tantrum helps express feelings because the child can't tell you what's going on. If you're serious about breaking negative parenting patterns, you will need to establish new limits with your child and stay consistent, even in the face of a scary meltdown. No worries -- as long as you're consistent your kiddo will eventually learn that you intend to stay firm and keep your word.