Your husband should prove daily that you can depend on him to be there.

How to Know If My Husband Is Committed to Our Marriage

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

Many marriages have rocky patches and can leave you wondering if the relationship will survive. It’s easier to save the marriage if you are both committed to its success, according to social worker Susan Pease Gadoua in “How Do You Know If You Should Stay or Go?” If your husband is committed to the marriage, his actions and attitudes will demonstrate his commitment level.

How You Interact

If your husband is committed, his interactions with you make you feel mutual trust and concern and that he loves you, according to Gadoua. Your relationship includes honesty, mutual respect and a sense of safety you can depend on. He shares common interests, activities and goals with you in word and action. You take time to talk on a regular basis and you feel included in his life. He touches you in meaningful and affectionate ways that you enjoy, according to marriage and family expert Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., in his book “His Needs, Her Needs.” You share physical and emotional intimacy.

Attitudes Matter

A committed husband takes a positive attitude toward you and your marriage, according to Gadoua. He will demonstrate that he’s willing to take risks and work for the good of the marriage. Your committed husband considers others' needs when he makes his choices, including those of you and your kids. He esteems and respects you and your relationship by making you and the family a priority. He treats you and the kids with kindness.

Multiple Commitment Levels

Your husband demonstrates commitment to your family and the marriage on three levels -- personal, moral and structural, according to sociologist Michael P. Johnson in “Reasons to Stay Married.” On a personal level, he uses words such as “I want to stay in this relationship" that indicate a compelling reason to remain together. He expresses positive feelings about your relationship, his love for you and working with you toward a common goal. On a moral level, he is determined to do the right things to maintain consistency for your family. He expresses concern about your future security and takes steps to ensure it. Structurally, he demonstrates he is invested with his time and finances.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Your husband spends quality and quantity time with you. He cooperates on efforts to improve your marriage, according to a Woman’s Day article titled “9 Signs Your Marriage Might Be Over.” Additionally, he works as a team player on mutual goals and tasks. He compromises to find win-win solutions to challenges your relationship faces. He resists looking for someone else to meet his emotional needs because he knows that you are the one to do that, according to Harley.

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

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