Navigating adolescence can be challenging for any teenager, but if girl drama rears its ugly head, your teen might need some advice. Stay attuned to your teen’s attitude and mood so you can perceive changes that could indicate that she’s struggling. By offering support and guidance, you can make suggestions that might help her deal with peer difficulties to resolve them proactively and positively.
Ask for details about specific girl drama that’s your teen's experiencing. As your teen talks, give her your undivided attention, maintaining eye contact and resisting the urge to interrupt. When she finishes explaining the situation, paraphrase what she said and ask questions to clarify.
Talk about respectful conflict resolution with your teen. Briefly explain, without lecturing, the basics of good conflict resolution to your teen, which include resolving differences peacefully without attacking others, seeking to understand other people’s perspectives, looking for common beliefs and interests, problem-solving cooperatively and reaching an agreement together, according to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center.
Role-play various scenarios with your adolescent to help her understand different options for resolving a challenging situation. For example, if a girl is whispering about your teen in the hallway, tell your teen that she has several different options. She might hold her head up high and smile brightly at the whispering girls to communicate self-assurance and confidence. She might approach them and say something such as, “What’s up?” She also might simply ignore them and focus on other more positive interactions with friends.
Discuss the importance of avoiding aggressive behavior with your teen. Tell her that striving to hurt others or boosting herself up emotionally at someone else’s expense isn’t a respectful or positive way to behave, according to the Dr. Phil website. Explain that it's better to use the respectful conflict resolution skills you outlined for her, such as thinking about another person's perspective and looking for common interests, to create an alliance instead of a division.
Recommend seeking support and assistance if a girl drama situation escalates out of control. Your teen might feel overwhelmed and even unsafe if an interaction involves emotional bullying. If the situation occurs at school, suggest that your teen approach a teacher or administrator for help. You might also contact school administrators yourself if your teen needs more assistance. Keep your approach calm and respectful, however, to work toward a solution with the school, advises the GreatSchools website.
Advise your teen to focus on the friendships she has that are positive and affirming for her. If she can ignore or avoid drama with other girls, some of it may dissipate because the other girls aren’t getting a negative reaction from your youngster.