Pursuing you appeals to his masculinity and competitive spirit.

How to Keep the Chase Going in a New Relationship

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

Something or someone perceived as unattainable or requiring extra effort to win has more appeal to males than an easily acquired goal, relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr tells The Huffington Post UK. The chase is exciting to a man, especially if he feels that he can triumph over the other guys who are attracted to you.

Let Him Initiate Contact

Put that phone away and don’t call your new romantic interest unless he calls you first and leaves a message, writes Jordan Christy, author of the book, "How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World," excerpted on Today.com. Calling him first makes you seem less interesting. He needs the chase to stay interested, affirms Christy. After a date, let him call to say he enjoyed the date or just to touch base. You don’t have to ignore his calls to keep him interested and calling back -- just don’t initiate calls to check on him or talk about something you think would interest him. In an eHarmony article, relationship coach Rori Raye agrees; she discourages pursuing a man through texts, emails, social media postings or by dropping by his home or favorite haunts.

Allow Him to Commit First

Don’t ask him how he feels about you or the relationship, advises Raye. Although it might seem perfectly understandable that you want to know where you stand, just don’t ask. Let him be the first to tell you that he just can’t see a future without you and your child in it. He can tell you about the dream he had of you as part of his family. If you broach commitment first, he might run for the hills.

Allow Him to Initiate Dates

Let your guy plan and initiate dates, suggests Raye. It makes life easier if he invites you out on a date because you know who pays and how dressed up you need to be, asserts men’s coach Jeffrey Platts, writing for The Huffington Post. He feels successful when you accept. A spontaneous date here or there is fun, but you don't want him to think you are at his beck and call.

Permissible Actions

If you wonder what you can do to communicate your interest, try these subtle actions, as recommended by Raye. Look happy to see him and tell him you enjoy spending time together. Be receptive and open to his attentions when he reaches out. Once he commits to a relationship with you, you can initiate contact and plan dates. However, don’t forget to remain receptive, open and appreciative of your time together.

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

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