Openly communicate with your spouse to express your needs and wants after 10 years of marriage.

How to Keep a Marriage After 10 Years Together

by Shannon Philpott

After 10 years of marriage, it’s common to get into a routine that revolves around children, household duties and work. However, when you lose sight of your relationship and the honeymoon seems like ages ago, it may be time to shift the focus back to reviving the spark you once had with your husband. Marital bliss is not just reserved for newlyweds; in fact, it is possible to feel butterflies for your spouse long after the 10-year mark.

Make Compromises and Accept Each Other

If you envisioned marital life as an easy task, you know by now that relationships are hard work. The partnership requires give and take each day. Feelings of resentment occur when the relationship is unequal, says Dr. John Grohol, founder and CEO of Psych Central. Couples must learn to compromise in many ways to have a successful, long-term marriage. Accept that you both may have different interests or hobbies. If he wants you to watch a baseball game, give in, and it is likely he will volunteer to participate in one of your favorite activities. Allow your spouse to be independent and avoid instances where you both feel as if you have lost your identity.

Communicate Regularly

After 10 years, you may think you know everything there is to know about your spouse, but realistically, you don’t. Take the time to communicate with him on a regular basis to share your needs, feelings, hopes and dreams. Even if you only get 15 minutes to share information about your day, embrace this time together. Whether it’s a short walk through the neighborhood together or a date night at your favorite restaurant, it’s crucial to make communication and time with your spouse a priority, says Maud Purcell, a family therapist with PsychCentral.

Show Affection

To have a happy, long-lasting marriage, it’s important for you to move past feelings of anger, resentment or disappointment and show your husband the love you have for him. In other words, make every effort to be sweet to each other, says clinical psychologist Lynn E. O'Connor in the article, "How to Have a Happy, Long-Term Partnership (With or Without ‘Marriage’)," in Psychology Today. Instead of giving into the urge to lash out when you are angry or express highly emotional feelings, take a deep breath, let the moment pass and offer a display of affection. Although it may seem artificial at first, O’Connor says that learning to regulate your emotions and viewing your spouse as someone who deserves a sweet gesture can help build a solid and happy union.

Be Trustworthy and Honest

More than likely, you married your spouse because you valued his morals, trusted him to be honest and cherished his heart. As time passes, values and beliefs may ultimately change. Without a doubt, you have changed, too. After 10 years, maintain an honest and trustworthy relationship by continuing to confide in your spouse and sharing your needs, recommends Grohol. After all, you have depended on him for support, love and companionship for 10 years. Actively listen to his needs as well, so that he feels he can confide in you, depend on you, and be honest with you for many more years to come.

About the Author

Shannon Philpott has been a writer since 1999. She has experience as a newspaper reporter, magazine writer and online copywriter. Philpott has published articles in St. Louis metro newspapers, "Woman's World" magazine, "CollegeBound Teen" magazine and on e-commerce websites, and also teaches college journalism and English. She holds a Master of Arts in English from Southern Illinois University.

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