You and your spouse should sit down and consider the options.

Leaving a Long-Term Marriage

by Kristen Moutria

Leaving a long-term marriage is challenging, upsetting and difficult for everyone involved. Perhaps you and your partner enjoyed many wonderful years together but no longer feel a connection. Children complicate the picture. Make an informed decision by considering the cause of your problems and the challenges that accompany divorce.


There are several reasons you may feel compelled to leave your long-term marriage. You may have grown apart and find yourselves with different interests, according to Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationships expert for AARP. Schwartz explains that many long-term marriages end suddenly after having been in decline for years, and some cannot withstand the diverse challenges life offers. Finally, lack of communication is one of the main reasons many people leave long-term marriages.


Couples should make sure their problems are severe enough to end the marriage without regrets, according to William Doherty, lead researcher for the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project at the University of Minnesota. Determine the root of relationship problems. This will give you the knowledge to be happy in the future. If you have children, figure out who will coordinate school and activity pickup and be the primary caregiver.


Be upfront with your spouse about the fact that you are no longer in love. Never be passive-aggressive or make your spouse's life miserable in hopes that he will end the marriage, according to Elly Prior, counselor and founder of the website. Avoid disappearing because you want to avoid confrontation. Let your spouse know your feelings.


Have realistic expectations about life after marriage. Recognize that the end of your relationship will bring pain and sorrow, even if you are the one cutting ties. If you are making the right decision, you will be happy in the long run, but initially, it will be difficult.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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