Talking is part of moving on and repairing the friendship.

How to Let Go of Angry Feelings and Move on With a Friend

by S. Grey

It is natural to be angry, but to keep your friendship, you must let go and move forward. The key to letting anger pass is forgiveness. This emotional process allows you to come to terms with your emotions and make amends with your friend. While you may be angry for some time, letting go and forgiving is beneficial to you and your friendship.

Why Let Go

Letting go of anger and moving forward yields psychological and physical benefits. Grudges are persistent and block your ability to let go of anger. According to Mayo Clinic, harboring anger towards a friend negatively impacts your blood pressure and hinders your ability to connect with your friend. Conversely, forgiveness reduces stress and anxiety and lowers blood pressure. Forgiveness has the capacity to heal a rift in your friendship and is better for your heart and mind.

Release Anger

Actively letting go and releasing anger reduces its impact on you and aids in moving forward with your friend. Refuse to hold onto your anger or any grudges. When your anger arises, feel it and acknowledge it, but do not replay it in your head. An activity that aids in letting go is called "leaves in a stream." In this activity, close your eyes and imagine a slow moving stream. For the purpose of letting go of anger, put your anger toward your friend on a leaf in the stream and let it pass. Do not hold onto the thought. Let it flow with the stream. This helps you release angry thoughts or feelings towards your friend, enabling you to move forward.

Talk It Out

Talking out issues with your friend allows you to be open and honest about your feelings. Be clear and straightforward -- let her know exactly what hurt you and how it made you feel. Talking with your friend allows both of you to be clear about your feelings. Use I statements to elicit ownership of your feelings and not cast blame. An example of an I statement is: I felt hurt and frustrated when you ignored me in front of our friends because you are important to me. If you cannot talk to your friend without anger, ask another friend to act as a mediator.

Move On

When you choose to move on, you leave past conflict behind and work on building a stronger friendship. Resist the temptation to dwell on the event that made you angry. Staying with your anger for prolonged periods of time colors your thoughts and your actions toward you friend and can recreate a rift. Ask your friend to avoid repeating the behaviors that elicited anger in you. For example, tell your friend that it would mean much to you if she would acknowledge you around others in the future rather than ignoring you. After resolving your conflict and letting go of anger, leave your feelings and your friend's actions behind and focus on your future friendship.

About the Author

S. Grey has a Master of Science in counseling psychology from the University of Central Arkansas. He is also pursuing a PhD and has a love for psychology, comic books and social justice. He has been published in a text on social psychology and regularly presents research at regional psychology conferences.

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