Your intuition can help you know if your guy still has meaningful feelings for his ex.

How to Know if a Man Carries a Torch for a Woman

by Nina Edwards

You met a cool new guy and you seem to be a perfect match. Everything goes smoothly at first and you are more than happy. But very soon you start noticing things that indicate he might still have feelings for his ex. Many women trust their gut feeling, but you should carefully examine the facts before you jump to conclusions.

Implications for You

If you know that your partner has had a long relationship before getting together with you, you should also know that his ex-girlfriend or wife must still have some place in his heart. She is part of his history and one of the factors that made him a man whom you fell in love with, suggests Cindy Chupack in the article “The Ex Factor: When Is It Okay to Talk About Past Loves?” on the website. Occasional interactions with his ex are normal and you shouldn’t feel threatened by it. But if he hasn’t completely let go of her, you will need a lot of patience and self-confidence in the days to come.

He Rushed Into Your Relationship

If he wasted no time between ending an old relationship and starting a new one with you, there are strong chances he still hasn’t completely gotten over his ex-girlfriend, according to “Five Signs He's Not Over His Ex” on No matter what he tells you, grieving is a natural sequence of events. Every relationship is built of hopes and dreams, which shatter when a relationship ends. He isn’t only getting over his ex, but also over his former hopes and dreams. And that takes time.

He’s Obsessing Over His Past

If you see him checking her Facebook profile every day or digging through the old albums of them together, it is a clear sign that he is still grieving. You need to be aware that if you decide to stay with this guy, you will also be a part of a long healing process.

He’s Always Talking About Her

If he keeps mentioning his ex every opportunity he gets, it is one of the indicators that he still might be carrying a torch for her. It doesn't matter if he mentions her in a negative or in an overly positive context. Both are extremes and imply that he hasn’t let go of her. One of the biggest warning signs is if he uses “we” when talking about her. That spells serious trouble for your relationship with him.

About the Author

Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.

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