Getting over a deep hurt takes time, but certain practices can help the healing process

How to Get Over a Deep Hurt

by S. Grey

Pain affects your daily life, and when you experience a deep hurt, it is difficult to bounce back. Effort and determination are necessary to move past your pain. Yet, there is always hope that you can recover from an emotional trauma. Meditation, forgiveness and other practices can give you the power to get over a deep hurt. Many methods you would use to get over deep hurt are tied to physiological processes designed to calm your mind and body. As you endeavor to move past your pain, your mind and body will become more resilient, allowing you to endure hurt in the future.


Meditation is a core practice in Buddhism and you can use it to deal with deep pain. This practice helps to foster acceptance, allowing you to cope with hurt. In his book, "The Mindfulness Solution,” Ronald Siegel, Psy.D., states that meditation helps you become comfortable with all of your experiences, even the deeply painful ones. While your first instinct may be to run from trauma, he recommends using meditation to help you accept the trauma to be able to heal. Meditation reduces your body's fight or flight response, which occurs because of stimulation of your sympathetic nervous system due to fear or other distressful emotion, according to the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine. Instead, your parasympathetic nervous system is stimulated, inducing relaxation, allowing you to concentrate on moving past a deep hurt and calming your mind to the experience of pain.


Forgiving someone who hurt you is one way to move past a deep hurt. Forgiveness reduces the stress you experience when reliving a trauma. You gain a better perspective on your pain and are more capable of dealing with it. Forgiveness is not easy -- it is a skill you must practice. Meditation provides a method of practicing forgiveness. This practice strengthens your ability to let go of pain and distress rather than holding onto them. As you become more adept at meditation you increase your capacity to forgive -- some things may hurt, but they will be easier to bear because you are refusing to hold onto negative emotions.


Exercise has benefits not only for your physical health -- it plays a role in getting over trauma as well. Exercise improves mood and reduces stress, alleviating some of the pain from trauma, according to research published in "The Primary Care Companion to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.” Physical activity also improves your ability to concentrate, allowing you to better devote mental energy to coping with a deep hurt. Maintaining regular exercise will make your brain and body more resilient, aiding in your efforts to overcome trauma. Exercise releases endorphins, neurotransmitters that induce positive feelings. Endorphins contribute to better sleep, which in turn reduces stress and increases your ability to regulate your emotions,according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Physical activity also reduces muscle tension, mitigating one of the physical components of stress maintenance.


Trauma and deep hurt can often elicit the development of depressive or anxious symptoms, making therapy a meaningful option in healing. If you feel that your pain is causing interference in your life, therapists are a sounding board to help you come to terms with the hurt. These professionals are trained in helping you develop strategies to overcome difficult emotions and thus heal. Talking to a therapist will help you uncover new methods of getting over your pain and having a more positive life.

About the Author

S. Grey has a Master of Science in counseling psychology from the University of Central Arkansas. He is also pursuing a PhD and has a love for psychology, comic books and social justice. He has been published in a text on social psychology and regularly presents research at regional psychology conferences.

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