Children are different and require different disciplinary approaches.

Parent-Child Relationship Problems

by Angeliki Coconi

Parent-child problems… Most parents are terrified of the possibility. Years from now, when your teenager is yelling, getting a tattoo and running away from home, it will be hard not to reflect on the time that your little monkey was looking up at you with those big, brown, beautiful eyes and giggling. This, of course, is a hypothetical situation. Knowing how to avoid it becoming a reality is essential, so ask yourself how to identify parent-child difficulties at this point in the game, so that you can start the effort to put it right.

Finding the Right Way to Discipline

Discipline is a tough nut to crack. Children need discipline as a form of guidance, but they should never feel scared of their childish ways -- sometime it’s just your little guy’s nature. Choosing the wrong disciplinary style can create a myriad of problems, which is why you need to remember a few important things. Your approach to discipline, according to the parenting section on Scholastic in the article “Behavior Problems: Discipline That Works,” should always depend on three things -- your little one’s developmental stage, the behavioral issues you are facing as a parent and his temperament. Is your little guy loud and hyperactive? He may need a more hands-on approach to be told what to do. If your kid’s extremely sensitive, this approach might scare him -- be overtly empathetic instead.

Establishing the Appropriate Closeness

A lot of the time, parent-child problems arise because you just haven’t understood the kind of attention your little one needs. According to medical source Patient, a lack of attention and parental withdrawal can lead to a number of problems within and outside of the household -- including a loss of confidence, loneliness and feelings of isolation. Kids need to be reminded that they are worth your time and affection -- a distant relationship can create an unstable kid. At the same time, being too close may also create problems. A constant stream of big hugs and slobbery kisses is fine for some youngsters, whereas it might create resentment in others.

Favoritism Among Siblings

According to Dr Karl Pillemer, Ph.D., of the Cornell Institute for Translational Research on Aging, favoritism can lead the less-favored kid to acquiring ill-feelings towards the mother and/or father -- while problems can arise from the favored sibling, due to the ever-increasing weight that comes from parental expectations. Pillemer states that both children, in this instance, may grow to resent their parents. Ellen Webber Libby, Ph.D., suggests that less-favored children are much more likely to develop feelings of depression -- that actually develop from their toddler and preschool years, into their teens and beyond.

Finding A Balance Between Bias and Objectivity

This is a difficult problem for parents to avoid. Of course, this is also really determined by who your little guy is as an individual. Regardless, it’s pretty safe to assume that no child is absolutely perfect. Nope, not even yours. If you refuse to see any problems in your child’s behavior, ever, then this could result in a somewhat unhealthy, unbalanced relationship between you guys. According to parenting source EHF in the article “Unhealthy Parent-Child Relationship,” this biased view of your child may lead to a lack of appreciation, a lack of consideration for others and a total lack of power from your side. At the same time, being utterly uninterested and objective towards the little one can result in other problems -- raising a kid in a mushy unclear world, says EHF, can lead to your child losing respect for himself and suffering as a result of lack of confidence.

About the Author

Angeliki Coconi started writing in 1999 with the theater comedy "Loop," produced in Athens. In 2001 she wrote and produced another comedy, "Modern Cinderella." In 2006 she was awarded a Master of Science in literature from the University of Edinburgh. In 2009 Coconi obtained the Postgraduate Certificate in Screenwriting from Napier University of Edinburgh.

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