Sharing an activity is one way to have fun in marriage.

How to Put Fun Back in Your Marriage

by Kristen Moutria

The idea that fun is essential to a happy marriage may seem obvious to many. However, the truth is that many couples who once had plenty of fun together become weighed down by all of life's demands and forget to make having fun together a priority. Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, states on that the more you invest in fun and friendship, the happier your marriage will become over time. Share an activity, try something new, prioritize mutual friendships and plan a big event in order to put the fun back into your marriage.

Share an Activity

Share an activity in order to bond and open up the pathway to intimate conversation. Les Parrott, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, states on that both planned activities and relaxation time are key to having fun together. He explains that oftentimes, a woman wants date nights to be about intimacy and friendship, while a man wants a time of shared activity. A woman may think this means no intimate conversation, but her husband is more likely to open up during these bonding activities. Going golfing together or watching a football game is a way to satisfy both of your desires for fun and connection.

Try Something New

While a simple date may satisfy you for a short time, going on an unpredictable adventure together will bring much more fun into your marriage. Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, states in an "New York Times" article that couples should strive to find new ways to inject novelty into the relationship. Focus on finding new and exciting activities that you will both enjoy, such as going to an amusement park or joining a writing class together.

Prioritize Mutual Friendships

Your mutual friends have the potential to bring a lot of fun to your marriage. It is important that these people are friends with both you and your spouse and that the four of you enjoy doing a variety of activities together. Robert H. Schuller, psychologist and founder of The New Hope Crisis Counseling Center, states on that it is best to build upon friendships that bring enjoyment to the two of you as a couple. With mutual friends, you can enjoy game nights, trips to the movies and even short road trips to make a double date more interesting.

Plan a Big Event

Planning a big event as a couple will give the two of you something to look forward to and will add a new kind of fun to your relationship. Gary Lundberg, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Joy Lundberg, a writer and lyricist, report on the that planning a big event months or even years ahead of time is wise so that you have enough time to save money, as well as the opportunity to have fun planning. Check out pamphlets and the Internet for ideas about where to go and what to do.


  • A Perfectly Funny Marriage: A Humorous View of Creating a Successful Marriage; Susanne M. Alexander

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

Photo Credits

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