Teenagers often get involved in relationships without knowing much about the other person. As a result, break-ups are a normal part of most highly emotional teen dating sagas. Teens break up for both rational and illogical reasons, but most have a motive behind the split. Some adolescent break-ups are mutual, but many end with one person feeling relieved and the other feeling rejected.
Peer pressure plays an important role in the lives of teenagers, so some end romantic relationships because their friends encouraged them to break up. Peers might insist that a dating partner is taking up too much time, has ulterior motives or isn't the right fit. Teens should listen to peer advice if it's unselfish and insightful -- friends might see problems or issues that a love-stricken peer can't see. However, teens should ignore superficial break-up reasons, such as he doesn't have enough money, she's too nerdy or he's not on the football team.
Teenagers often break up because their dating partner becomes obsessive and controlling. Most teenagers crave freedom, so controlling or manipulative boyfriends and girlfriends are too needy and high-maintenance. Some controlling partners might even be dangerous or abusive. Teens might break up with a dating partner who doesn't want them talking to other members of the opposite set, gets mad if their text messages aren't returned or demands constant attention.
New Love Interest
Some teens break up because they find a new love interest. Teenagers are in the process of establishing personal identities and figuring out what they truly want, so they often discover people who have common interests and compatible personalities along the way. They might end a current relationship and start a new one if they believe the old relationship has run its course and a new one feels like a better fit. Some teen break-ups include jealousy, lies or lust, so those who get dumped often need parental support to work through sadness, anger, disappointment and insecurity issues.
Parents Encourage the Break-Up
Teens often break up because parents successfully convince them that the relationship is headed for destruction. Parents might recognize that a relationship is abusive or unhealthy and get involved. In "Psychology Today," psychology professor Sherry Hamby, PhD, says that an adult presence could be the best protection against teen dating violence. Teens might argue with their parents about the need to break up, but a loving tone and persuasive facts are hard to ignore.