Chances are, there are still things you enjoy doing with your spouse of 28 years.

How to Rekindle Your Marriage After 28 Years

by Eliza Martinez

Staying married for 28 years isn't always easy. After so many years together, you might find that the spark that drew you together is waning. Moreover, married couples who raise children and have careers might find themselves drifting apart under the strain of responsibility and daily life obligations. This doesn't mean that your union is doomed, however. Making the effort to rekindle the love that originally made you want to spend your lives together can help you reconnect and make a new commitment to your marriage.


It might sound simple, but often, after decades of marriage, couples no longer talk like they did in the beginning of their relationship. For example, you might talk about who will pick the kids up at school, whose turn it is to get groceries or when the lawn service is coming to mow the lawn, but you might need to make an effort to actually have conversations about more meaningful topics. Make a point of setting aside 15 minutes each day to discuss your lives with each other -- without mentioning the kids, the house, or your jobs, suggests Jim Burns, president of the HomeWord Center for Youth and Families, on the Christian Broadcasting Network website.

Date Nights

Date nights are important to a marriage -- whether you're married a week or 28 years. A standing opportunity to spend an evening with each other gives you the chance to strengthen your bond through shared experiences. This might be dinner at your favorite restaurant or seeing the latest blockbuster and sharing a bucket of popcorn. It might also involve trying something new together, which can improve your marriage, according to Arthur Aron, Ph.D., on the Woman'sDay website. Try a swing dance class, play a new sport, learn to cook ethnic foods or discover some new bike paths together.

Show Affection

Being physically close to each other is an ideal way to feel emotionally connected to your spouse of 28 years. Hold hands in public or put your arms around each other while you're waiting in line, suggests the Tom Brown Ministries website. In the privacy of your own home, kiss each other every day and make time for sexual intimacy. This lets each of you know that you are loved and desired by the other and helps you both resist the temptation to look for love elsewhere.


After 28 years, your spouse has likely seen you at your worst. That doesn't mean you should let yourself go and never put any effort into looking attractive for each other. Grooming, dressing nicely and smelling fresh are ways to show your spouse that you love and respect him, notes The Good News magazine website. Put on a clean outfit, comb your hair, wear makeup and spritz on cologne or perfume before spending time together -- and your spouse will know that you did it with him in mind.

About the Author

Eliza Martinez has written for print and online publications. She covers a variety of topics, including parenting, nutrition, mental health, gardening, food and crafts. Martinez holds a master's degree in psychology.

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