Restore your physical connection.

How to Restore Physical Passion in Marriage

by Karen Kleinschmidt

Physical passion and intimacy is often something that fades in a marriage as time goes on, leaving one or both partners feeling dissatisfied or possibly disconnected. With some effort from both parties, you can restore the passion in your marriage as you reconnect by communicating effectively, laughing together and making each other a top priority -- all important aspects to making your marriage exciting again, according to Mark Tyrrell, therapist and co-founder of

Spend Time Together

Besides taking care of home-improvement tasks or scheduled family outings, think about when the the two of you last went out to spend some intimate time together. This kind of time is required to help sustain or recreate the intimacy that you need to keep the spark alive, slow down and relate to one another, recommends Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., in the "Psychology Today" article, "Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship." Notice what your spouse is passionate about and take his interests into account as you brainstorm ideas for new activities to enjoy together, she adds. Engaging in new activities can help you both rekindle the emotional and physical passion in your marriage.

Communicate Your Concerns

One or both of you may have noticed the lack of physical intimacy in your marriage. If this is the case, choose an appropriate time to discuss this sensitive subject, advises Dr. Phil, on There may be physical or emotional issues that are affecting one or both of your sex drives. Consider seeing a physician or therapist, either individually or together, to seek assistance with any underlying issues you may have. Practice patience with your spouse and be open about what appeals to you sexually as well as what turns you off. You may find that what appeals to you may have the opposite effect on your spouse. On the other hand, if your partner enjoys seeing you dressed in a certain way and you enjoy this too, feel free to indulge more regularly!

Time and Commitment

Look into the reasons you are lacking physical intimacy in your marriage. It can be challenging to make time for the sexual component of your marriage. If you are parents or spend a great deal of time at work, consider putting your kids to bed earlier or leaving the office earlier than usual one night a week to make your sex life a priority, Dr. Phil advises. He also advises against neglecting your role as lover and partner as physical intimacy and affection is a critical aspect of any healthy marriage.

Be Creative

For those couples whose sex life has become close to non-existent, slowly begin to re-introduce intimacy. Make a habit to give a good-morning and good-night kiss each day. Kiss for longer periods, hold hands or touch each other in non-sexual ways from time to time. As you progress to sexual intimacy in the bedroom, you will have re-established a pattern of daily affection and intimacy. Ask your partner for what it is you want in the bedroom, as such communication can enhance intimacy. Explore each other's fantasies, Dr. Phil suggests. While you should avoid compromising your morals or values, hear your partner out and consider trying something new. You may be pleasantly surprised by the results as you both get to know each other on a new level.

About the Author

Karen Kleinschmidt has been writing since 2007. Her short stories and articles have appeared in "Grandma's Choice," "Treasure Box" and "Simple Joy." She has worked with children with ADHD, sensory issues and behavioral problems, as well as adults with chronic mental illness. Kleinschmidt holds a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Montclair State University.

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