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How to Tell Your Parents You've Had a Boyfriend for a Month

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

When you are a single parent, dating can be complicated. You want to protect your child, but keeping the secret can become difficult, especially if you are really falling for the guy. However, your parents may sense that you are hiding something important. They are concerned about you and if you tell them about it, it might please them that you have found love in your life.

Revealing Your Secret

Your parents may have sensed a difference in you, perhaps a happier and more contented you. If they ask you directly if you have someone special in your life, the truth could be a better solution than a lie, especially if you are close. Explain that you are still getting to know him, suggests psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina in the article “Dating Guidelines for Single Parents,” on her website. You might share what you know about him, his name and how you met. When explaining the month-long time frame, say you didn’t share earlier because you wanted to be sure he was right for you.

Taking It Slow

Let your parents know that you have not yet told your children about the man you are dating and will maintain that silence until you have been dating at least six months, as recommended by author Marina Sbrochi in the "Huffington Post" article, “5 Ground Rules For Introducing Your New Partner To Your Kids.” Explain that you want to protect your children so they don't get hurt if things don’t work out.

Benefits of Dating

Your parents could appreciate that you are taking advantage of the regular parenting breaks you get when your ex has your children by having some fun and finding someone you like, suggests psychotherapist Elisabeth LaMotte in the "Huffington Post" article, “Divorced Parents Reveal Their Secrets.” Talk to your parents about areas you have discussed with your boyfriend, such as whether he likes kids and any parenting experience he has, so you can explore how compatible you might be long-term. Mention how much you would like to find a loving partner at some point in the future.

Maintaining Your Secret

Ask your parents to avoid sharing your secret with anyone. Explain that you will choose with whom and when to share the information if things progress into a healthy, stable relationship. Promise to introduce him when the time is right and to keep them informed of changes. Your parents care about you and want you to be safe and happy, so assure them you are taking appropriate safety measures for you and your children and that your relationship is not taking time away from them.

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

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